Reflections presented by Fr. Míceál O’Neill, O.Carm. and  Mr. Patrick Rivera

The Lay Centre and Immaculate Conception Seminary School of Theology of Seton Hall University (ICSST) invite you to continue your journey of reflection and dialogue with Pope Francis’ apostolic letter “Patris Corde.”

In this third interview of the series “In the School of St. Joseph,” we reflect upon family and spiritual fatherhood. St. Joseph’s model is that of a “tender father,” who taught his son, Jesus, to walk, to work, to live in society. Joseph was also a good father in his relationship with Mary, whose son he adopted unconditionally.

In his apostolic letter “Patris Corde,” Pope Francis says: “The greatness of St. Joseph is that he was the spouse of Mary and the father of Jesus. In this way, he placed himself, in the words of St. John Chrysostom, ‘at the service of the entire plan of salvation’” (“Patris Corde,” 1).

We hope the accompanying insights into sacred art depicting St. Joseph, offered by Dr. Barbara Aniello, will enrich your journey. The third work of art is “The Adoration of the Shepherds,” by Juan Bautista Maíno, 1612, Prado Museum, Madrid.

We invite you to read below the responses to questions posed to Fr. Míceál O’Neill, O.Carm. and  Mr. Patrick Rivera in the third installment in this series of brief interviews on topics to guide us in this Year of St. Joseph.

Fr. Míceál O’Neill, O.Carm., a friar of the Irish Carmelite Province, was elected prior general of the Order of Carmelites in 2019. He has served in many ministries within the order, including in Latin America, and most recently as prior of the order’s international study house in Rome.

Mr. Patrick Rivera is the director of the Office for Young Adult Ministry at the Diocese of San Diego and a member of the National Advisory Team for Young Adult Ministry at the USCCB. He is married to Margot, and they have five daughters, and one son, named Giuseppe.

The image of St. Joseph as father is, perhaps, the first that comes to mind when we think of him. What kind of model of fatherhood is St. Joseph for you?

Father O’Neill: Three words come to mind: presence, care, purpose. I see in Joseph a parent in the family, who is present in every aspect of the life of his family. That presence gives the family a sense of wholeness and unity that we see when Jesus goes missing and is then reunited with his family. I see in Joseph a father who takes care of his spouse and child and of their home. Under his care, Mary and Jesus feel safe, respected and nurtured in love. I also see Joseph as a father with a sense of purpose. He aligns himself with the plan of God through his prayer, expressed in the form of dreams. He has a sense of what God wants from him in relation to his family and, “when he awoke, he did as the angel had told him” (Mt 1:24).

Mr. Rivera: It is hard to imagine St. Joseph and appreciate his fatherhood without an immediate recognition of his receptive spirit to the will of God, likely fostered early as a child by his father, Jacob. I desire such a spirit myself and seek to cultivate it in the hearts of my six children, particularly my only son, aptly named Giuseppe. Fatherhood begins with such openness to God’s will. Joseph modeled this surrender before ever putting prayer to flesh.

Is it possible to live this model in everyday life and in today’s family? How?

Father O’Neill: I believe it is possible. People have to decide how they want to live their lives. Today parents are under great pressure. It is not easy to decide to be present, to care, and to be prayerful and contemplative in one’s approach to life, but these decisions are possible. Knowing about these decisions and reflecting on them should be part of marriage preparation, and such decisions are best taken by the parents together.

Mr. Rivera: Yes, but prayer is key. Like all vocations, God’s gift of fatherhood grew in the silence of Joseph’s heart — a place where his thoughts became prayers, unfolding into the greater mystery of his role. I find this true in my life. Our household is busy; however, it is in the often-unnoticed, quieter moments, when I am cleaning up at night, preparing bags for school in the morning, fixing something broken or balancing our finances, that I seek God’s voice and where it is most present. These actions become the prayers of fatherhood.

How, in your vision, does Joseph participate in Mary’s mission and vice versa?

Father O’Neill: Mary, when she understands the message of the angel, says yes. Jesus, when he realizes the passion and suffering that await him, says yes. Likewise, Joseph, when he understands the message of the angel, says yes. Salvation requires that those chosen by God say yes, and that all of us then say yes. Every yes has a continuation. It is never a solitary and momentary event. As Mary’s yes develops, Joseph helps Mary. As Joseph’s yes develops, Mary helps Joseph. Might we say that Jesus in the garden draws on the formation and education he received from his parents? Yes, because that is when his humanity is most revealed. It is then that the words begin to come true, “You are to name him Jesus for he will save his people from their sins” (Mt 1:21).

Mr. Rivera: I cannot answer this question without thinking of the cultural struggles my wife, Margot, and I encounter through daily comments from family, friends and even strangers. Who knew having six children could be so culturally abnormal? Joseph, however, knew the Jewish customs of his day, and possessed courage to stay beside Mary, refusing to be led by shame. Together they submitted to God, she as the handmaid of the Lord, and he as her guardian.

Referring to God as Father is part of biblical language. What does this mean for you and how does St. Joseph reflect this kind of love?

Father O’Neill: The echoes of the Old Testament are taken up in the New Testament by St. Paul when he writes to the Corinthians: “And I will be a father to you, and you shall by my sons and daughters, says the Almighty Lord” (2 Cor 6:18). It is a question of identity. Jesus speaks of his relationship with his Father, yet he remains in the mind of the people the son of a carpenter. Here the Father’s love coupled with the mother’s love is the love that gives children their identity, their home and their anchor. In this, we might say that Joseph reflects the love of the Father in the earthly of the Incarnate Word.

Mr. Rivera: In 2003, I was expressing my frustrations to my spiritual director regarding a seminarian peer, when he asked, “Patrick, have you ever questioned whether your father loved you?” This caught me off guard, seemingly out of context. “No,” I replied. “Well,” he said, “that isn’t everyone’s experience.” At that moment, I began to understand how truly blessed I was. Like Joseph, my father opened the door to my understanding of God. I am his beloved son. Fathers level the way for accepting God as the Father.

As a father, St. Joseph is also recognized in the Church as an educator. How can he inspire fathers and educators today? 

Father O’Neill: The simple reference in Luke 2:51-52 suggests the qualities of Joseph as an educator: His child was obedient to his parents and increased in wisdom and in years, and in divine and human favour. It suggests that parents must educate their children, so that they grow in years, in wisdom, and in good relationship with God and with other men and women with whom they are to live on this earth.

Mr. Rivera: Jesus attended the school of Joseph, learning the craft of his father, and labouring beside him. Joseph taught by including Jesus in his work. Children have a sense of wonder, and wonder is powerful. We fathers must let our children’s wonder grow to an appreciation of God’s world and a worship of God. I imagine at the school of St. Joseph wonder was a form of worship, both from father to son, and son to father.